Can you make love out of nothing at all? No feeling involved, merely lust?
Can you be intimate with a complete stranger, knowing nothing about him, feeling nothing about him, not even being attracted to him one tiny bit?
Perhaps I’m an idealist, a romantic fool, I know I can’t.
I used to think woman makes love mostly out of something, and man mostly out of nothing.
I once read a personal post about a man asking to meet women, by the number, #126? Yuck. Do you want to be a number in a man’s life? Do you care? Even how attractive or eligible he is? I know I don’t.
I never can understand one night’s stand. Or waking up in someone’s bed in the morning when you only met him the night before.
I guess I’m just old-fashioned. Have things been changed? Have we moved into the 21st century that monogamous is now so out-of-style?
All these one night stand, sex buddies, exchanging partners, multiple sex partners, orgies, incest, or sleeping with a married man/woman, your daughter-in-law or whoever, what has gotten into that good ol’ one-on-one love and faithfulness?
I have heard stories of how people boost about their sexual encounters. They seem to think the more the better, the more the merrier?
Do people still care about loving or caring? Are we so hedonistic that we don’t care that in so doing we are hurting some other persons along the way?
I agree sex is all good and pleasurable. And I’m all for gaining new experiences, being adventurous? But how do we cut the lines here?
Have women become a “deposit box”, and men a shooter?
What do you think about all these? Can you make love ”out of nothing” at all?
Making Love Out of Nothing At All
First off, E: Air Supply. I could feel my joints creaking as I watched the clip. Dang! The hair… the clothes… LoL!
Second, great post! I’ve read that women release this certain hormone that makes them feel attached to the person they just had sex with. Men don’t have such hormone. If this is true then women who have one-night-stands must feel really crappy the next morning after she and the guys parts ways. Actually, it’s good if she feels crappy — it means she hasn’t turned into stone yet. If you stop caring the morning after, then that’s it. Emotionally, there’s no going back from there.
Wow, I’m still mesmerized by the outfits the guys wear in that video. Pink is so flattering for men, Eleanor! And their haircut ( a collision with a poodle) !
Back to what you said, personally, I can’t make love out of nothing at all. I’ve got a fear of intimacy, so I let you imagine the catastrophe a one-night stand means to me. Some women are able to do this, I’m sure. But they’re a minority. And I’ve met men who told me they can’t do this, but they belong to a rare breed.
Liz,
Yes, the hair styles and clothes do look kind of weird, LOL.
If there was such a hormone, I must had had too much of it. Is there a drug to reduce most, or all of it, if desired? And what is the validity of this report? Now men can have all the fun and say, “Look, it’s not really my fault. It’s the genes…”
Whoa! You sound llike a prosecutor, E. Let me look for it. I know it’s medically proven already.
Oh, I’m sorry if I sounded too harsh, hehe. I’m always suspicious of a report like this. How can one connect a gene to some kind of behavior or pattern? And what is the sample size? It’s all too convenient, in my opinion.
Well, unfortunately this gal is all “black and white”, not much grey area allowed…
Here it is:
Oxytocin is released during orgasm in both sexes. In the brain, oxytocin is involved in social recognition and bonding, and might be involved in the formation of trust between people. It’s also called the “hormone of love” or the “cuddling hormone”
For more info, read
http://www.oxytocin.org/oxytoc/love-science.html
It appears I was wrong in saying that only women produce this. Now I’m wondering why men don’t get this feeling of attachment. Do they? I forget.
BTW, black and white is fine by me
modobs…haircut (a collision with a poodle) hahaha…you are just so funny.
BTW, like you I’m also a scorpio.
Wow – do you guys know each other? Quite a discourse. lol
I personally think most women have to be in a particularly hard or calloused place, emotionally to separate their emotions from sex…
That said, there have been plenty of times in my life where hormones ruled, and all I needed was a little somethin-somethin… But I have been accused of being a little unemotional or cold at times – so perhaps there was just a little too much testosterone flowing in those moments??
I firmly believe that women need and crave sexual satisfaction too – apart from the emotional bond. Go a good while without some really great sex sometime, and see what it does to your need to cuddle. You may just throw caution to the wind and grab the first hot guy that comes along.
Also, men and women alike may produce that nice little cuddling hormone, oxytocin, but I would wager to say that your levels of estrogen or testosterone determine what you do with that urge to cuddle or feel close. Some manly man with loads of testosterone may not even notice a little spike in oxytocin. And conversely, some sweet girly girls may be enslaved by the feeling of closeness they get from sex. If so, they’re screwed. Men hardly ever have that feeling – and when they do, it’s great – but you gotta be able to do the smack-down and attack each other once in a while, only to go right back to work or doing what you were doing. A good down and dirty spontaneous nooner never hurt anyone! It’s pretty awesome actually.
Liz,
thanks for the link, fascinating read especially the part why we seem to fall for the same type of people.
My question: if sex stimulates the release of vasopressin and oxytocin in people, so if if women are contstantly not satisfied by their partner, would that drive them apart and as they feel less bonded and loved? And for those in a relationship, would they need to polish their love skills so to have their spouse more attached to them?
You’re a scorpio? Damn, you have a common point too with my old flame!
modobs.. I’m also a petite… hehe…
modobs abd E: You will not believe this. I, too, am a petite scorpio.
Liz,
Really? Wow
Really.
You see? We can really make a club now. LoL!
1. if sex stimulates the release of vasopressin and oxytocin in people, so if women are contstantly not satisfied by their partner, would that drive them apart and as they feel less bonded and loved?
There are many reasons why people part ways but if we’re just talking sex, it’s possible. I’m not an expert here and can offer a ‘grey’ theory. When women start feeling dissatisfied (aka didn’t achieve orgasm), maybe it does have something to do with not releasing enough of the hormone.
2. And for those in a relationship, would they need to polish their love skills so to have their spouse more attached to them?
It could help. Unless the guy is really an asshole, it would be a bit harder for me to leave someone who can give me the big O (again since it produces the love hormone). If you make a list of pros and cons, wouldn’t that fall into your list of ‘pros’?
A club of petite and Scorpio? Wow. NB, I’m Virgo officially, but my ascendant tend to take the most of my character.
Liz, big O or not, if the guy is a real asshole, this is the ultimate cons.